She Performs Oral Sex with another Man, Demanding it is Recorded in a bid to Spite by Joy Isi Bewaji.

Someone sent me a long-ass message to explain why it is wrong for a man to upload a sex video sent by an ex where she performs oral sex with another man, demanding it is recorded in a bid to spite.

Yet we blame the recipient of this video and ask that he be jailed. Someone who was sitting on his life and minding his business. We blame him for also acting spitefully, sharing this video with the world.

I don’t get how we reason like this. I find many women unbearable. Women need to step out of this constant place of victim-hood.

The messenger wants me to understand how devastated the lady must have felt to send that video to an ex she probably still loved – a video where she is giving blowjob to another man.

Have you ever tried to step out of your own gender privileges to imagine how HE too felt receiving a video like that of a woman whom he too once loved? If she acted out of hurt, he too acted out of hurt. They are both hurt. If she acted impulsively insisting her sex video be sent to an ex, then he too acted impulsively sharing the video.

She wanted to hurt him further, probably shame him for the size of his penis. And he too chose to shame her further by sharing this ridiculousness with the world.

“Hey fool. I’m over you. See me, I’m blowing another dick. It’s bigger than yours.”

“Hey, bitch. I’m over you. How dare you send me shit like this? I’m sharing it with the rest of the world.”

Yet, the messenger in my inbox believes the man should be jailed for causing the death (suicide) of the woman - a grown being who CHOSE TO RECORD HERSELF.

Pray tell, how do you even sit on your privilege as a woman entitled to victimhood and blame the man for any action in this sad tale of two hurting people? I hope, with all this grammar you people blow on social media, you are raising your girl child with some common sense?

The privilege of being a constant sufferer is like a festering wound that you love to scratch but has left your flesh rotten.

I stand, again, with the fact that the man did nothing wrong. And it’s not because I want to appeal to men. I don’t care about men… or women. I only know my truth and I stand by it every single time.

If women do not stop justifying their idiocies, they will always be victims.Seek wisdom. Grow a tree of sense in your backyard and eat of its fruits every day. Stop being pitiful.

Here are a few more instances:

He slapped you all through your relationship, but when he beats you and tears your hair out in marriage, you are a victim. No, you are not a victim. You just don’t have sense. You wanted to believe a monster Could “change” when a child arrives or when you finally say “I do”. If you had any sense, you would know life or people don’t work that way.

You travel with a married lover to Dubai, but you don’t want to have sex. And you come to social media to seek help, how NOT to have sex on a vacation to Dubai with a married man. These are women with breasts and ass bigger than their brains. Yet people feel the need to share opinions on something so idiotic. We are getting dumber by the day.

Poor choices every day. Which is OK, really. We are humans and prone to idiocy. But to always play the victim is just something I will not live the rest of my life condoning.

Grow up and own your shit.

Joy Isi Bewaji, a prolific writer, columnist, and the managing director of Happenings Radio and Happenings Magazine.