CHAPTER
ONE
My
Guest
Even
as brilliant weather sat on the bare chest of the beautiful earth. Our mutual
friend, the morning, took its place in the progression of days. A bizarre tale,
more hellish than the enterprise of a sorcerer, crossed my threshold. It led me
into a gloomy morning. I had vowed to get rid of the cockroaches in my cupboard,
where they claimed lordship. Confusion greeted my arrival, as the insects
dashed here and there to escape my blows. As I ended their reign, a frightening
figure, brawny as a man who had spent hours in a gym, emerged from my shabby
walls. He began to punch me. His eyes were fire, and a puckish nose sat upon
his wicked face!
As
his treachery crushed me against the wall, I yelled like a man that misfortune
had dealt a miserable blow. I did not need a prophet to tell me that my very
survival depended on how I could maneuver my young fist. The blows I delivered
did not betray me, for the devil almost lost his balance. As he regained his
footing, he clenched his fist. He flashed a menacing smile at me, as if my
effort to retaliate were an abomination.
The
cruel creature charged me, his bulk like a battering ram. Before I could snatch
a breath from the wings of the morning, he descended upon me. I fought, but the
interloper got the upper hand as we traded punches. But the vigorous blows he
dispensed, none would prevail. So, when it dawned on me that my adversary would
spare me not a breath. His blows tossed me about– I decided to feign death. I
collapsed on the floor. I was an antelope silenced by the frenzied attack of a
predator. My attacker grabbed one of my legs and suspended me in mid-air. He
examined me as if taking inventory of his stock. Convinced that I was lifeless,
he threw me against the wall. The monster rubbed his hands. His face gleamed
with pleasure that he had finally snuffed the life out of me. As he roared and
beat his hairy chest, a whirlwind came out of the ground and carried him away
through the back door.
Now
the air was still, and Lady Tranquility returned to her esteemed seat in my
house. Still not recovered from the assault, I heard a faint knock on my door.
I was not expecting anyone except my co-worker who had promised some nights ago
to pay me a visit. I battled to pull myself to my feet, but my legs betrayed me
and I fell to my knees. The knock persisted, harder than ever. As I considered
the possibility that the devil had returned to cause me more pain, I was
afraid. My heart died within me. So I quelled my impulse to open the door and
crawled to my armchair to rest. It is only natural to retreat when one does not
have what it takes to confront his adversary.
As
the knock continued, a second thought flew into my head. If it were the devil,
he would not bother to knock at my door; he would burst in, as he did a while
ago to wreak his havoc.
I
took a deep breath. Was I that man who has bitten more than he could chew and
lost control over his life? I summoned my courage, subverted my ugly
predicament, and staggered to the door. “Who’s there?’ I asked. My voice was as
soft as the morning breeze.
A
baritone voice responded from the other side: “It’s I, Yomi Badore.”
My
fear and sadness flew away in an instant. My childhood friend stood outside the
door to my shabby house. I cast my calamity behind me and opened the door. I
flashed an exaggerated smile at him. “Yomi! Where have you been? I have tried
to get in touch with you a million times, but all my attempts met a brick
wall,” I said as I embraced him.
“After
we left school,” Yomi disclosed, “A school in London offered me a scholarship.
A few weeks after I left, my father wrote to me that he relocated to another
town. So that was how we lost contact, Taiwo. We didn’t tell you we moved.”
“You
are right. I hope life has been fair to you. As you know, the world is a
beautiful place. But sometimes a change of environment does not bring the fortune
we desire.”
“Oh
yes,” he cocked his head. “But I know enough of the world now. Our part in life
is to persevere and to learn as quickly as we can, for our victory depends upon
our perception of the world. My study abroad was interesting but not stress-free,
as I had anticipated. Even so, as I’m sure you can see, it has made me a better
man.” His smile was a majestic mountain. That’s the beauty of getting the best
out of life.
“Thank
God, your journey abroad made you a better fellow,” I told my truest friend.
“It is all over you, and you will be a blessing to the society that brought you
up!”
“It
is only human to be kind to others,” he noted. “We will be better off if we do
not create problems for ourselves,” he predicted.
I
did the right thing without further delay. I led this beautiful fellow with a
large chin, a little nose and full lips inside my humble home.
My
pain had now abated and my joy stood taller than the pair of legs that carried
me. Reminiscing, as old friends would, I reminded my guest what he did in the
‘good old days’. “Do you remember how you threw the entire school into
pandemonium?” I prompted him.
“Hmm…
My particular madness is like the wind that blows with a vengeance,” he said.
“It is the sand at the bottom of the sea. Back then, many thought I was under
the influence of a wicked spirit. Or I shared in the misfortune that excess
liquor gives her lovers. What particular event are you talking about, Taiwo?”
“The
dormitory nightmare!”
“Ah, yes, I remember!” He paraded a smile
over his face.
***
On
a day that the sun was hot, tormenting the earth as if there was no tomorrow,
Yomi ran into the dormitory shouting. “Hey! Hey! The Headmistress is dancing
outside her office. She’s invited everyone to join her. Come and have fun!”
Without
a second thought, some of the students ran to the office to catch a glimpse of
the dancing headmistress. There was commotion. The forest of legs reminded me
of triumphant warlords. Their feet wrote frustration on the face of the old
earth as they returned from battle with an enemy.
But,
the students received a rude shock when they found out it was a lie. The
Headmistress had set foot out of her office and was about to enter her car to
attend a meeting. “What is the problem? What’s chasing you all?” She turned to
the students and shouted.
There
was no answer.
The
confused students were like monuments in a vast land. Before the headmistress
could blink, they faced the dormitory. The students ran back to their classes.
“This
is ridiculous! Someone initiated this,” said Mr. Jamiu. He was the personal
assistant to the headmistress. “It must be a prank!”
“Yes,
you are right,” Mrs. Akintomide, the Headmistress, agreed. “It would have been
an embarrassing situation if the inspectors had been here. It appears that the
prefect is not alive to his responsibilities! Tell the head boy I want to see
him in my office, right now!” she thundered. She went back into her office and
sat down with her hand to chin.
Not
long after, Tolu, the head boy appeared, drowned in fear. He was a terrified
lizard on his feet.
The
old woman sat up and looked out over her bifocals. “Tolu,” she began. “Have I
not warned you to never allow the pupils to roam the school premises when they
are not on break?”
“Yes,
you have. A boy in Class Four ran into the dormitory, shouting that you were
dancing in front of your office!” Tolu trembled, and lowered his head.
“What!”
She banged her table. “Who is the foolish cricket?”
“Yomi
Badore!”
She
took off her lenses, placed them on the table and sat back in her chair.
“School is a small world. I will make an example of him. Go and fetch him for
me!”
Tolu
made the best use of his legs to reach the dormitory with speed and dispatch.
But before the proverbial dust had settled, Yomi had slipped out of the school
and rushed home!
A
few days later, I was struggling to adjust to a life without Yomi. I noticed a
large man carried himself into the school. Now little more than a shadow of
himself and looked sober as if he had drowned his ugly past and turned a new
leaf. Yomi ran to catch up with the old feet of his father.
It
was easy to tell what had transpired for Yomi in the office of the
Headmistress. He returned to the classroom with a broad grin on his face.
***
“That
was an old chapter, now gone forever,” said Yomi, yawning. “I am not trying to
say I can no longer fall into delusion. If you study my face and read my lips,
you will see that things have changed. You don’t have to be a clairvoyant to
see that man does not have total control over his own life.”
“You
are right. Only change is constant. It would have been a disaster if you were
still married to your old life!” I chuckled and threw myself on my feet. “Let
me get you something to start your day,” I said. “Then we must roll out the
drums.”
He
nodded with a smile and made himself comfortable on my old wooden furniture. As
I stepped toward the back door, he cleared his throat to command my attention.
“Taiwo, I noticed something,” he said. He raised an eyebrow that gave birth to
a furrow on his forehead.
“What’s
that?” I turned toward him.
“What
happened to your legs? Did you dash your foot against a stone?”
“No,
I was attacked this morning by a fiendish creature. It is not safe here
anymore.”
“A
fiendish creature attacked you?” he asked, making a face. “Where did he attack
you?” Then he sat up and crossed his arms over his body.
“Right
here in this house. He was a monster sort of. He came out of the wall and beat
me to the ground. He almost killed me.”
He
chuckled and sank into his seat. He paused and tried to think. He did not
believe my story. He leaned forward, glanced up at me and said, “You sound
strange, my friend.” His eyes traveled round the room as if inspecting a below
par decorated casket and then back to me. My effects were not out of place. The
framed pictures on the wall were not shattered. “There are no cracks on the
wall to suggest that someone broke into this house. Not to talk of saying you
were attacked by a creature that almost killed you.” He looked at me as if he
was inspecting his poultry. He cleared his throat and asked once again, “Are
you alright? Tell me the truth. Don’t beat about the bush. Tell me the truth.
We are friends. If it is something I can do for you, I will fix it. Are you
okay? Do we need to see a psychiatrist? I can arrange it.”
“No
need for that. I am good.”
“I’m
afraid you are not. You need to see a psychiatrist!”
I
was angry because he was a friend that I have not seen for a while; I had to
mask my anger with a smile. “I am not lying,” I shook my head. “My landlady is
a terrible woman. She is diabolical. By the mere wave of the hand, she can set
a hundred demons on an insect. She sent a creature to attack me this morning. I
never knew she was this bad until we were so intimate. We started seeing each
other the moment I set foot here. Ever since I told her that I was no longer
interested in the illicit affair, my life has been a nightmare. I find myself
battling against all odds. It has been from one problem to another.”
“I
don’t understand you. Your story is still not making any sense. You are
limping. What happened to you?” He raised his voice with a streak of meanness.
“I didn’t ask you to explain how you have been sleeping with your property
owner. That’s your cup of tea. It’s your private life. I don’t want to know how
you live with your woman. I am worried because you don’t look good.”
I
took a mighty heave and tried to be calm so that I can explain things to him in
a manner that will not upset me. “Listen, Yomi. Before you came into this house
today, someone came into the house through the wall and fought with me. It was
an interloper. He was tough. We shared blows from one end of the room to
another. I sustained slight injuries to my leg as I tried to defend myself.
Were it not that I feigned death, only God knows what would have become of me.”
He
shook his head in disbelief. “You still don’t understand. Your story does not
look good, Taiwo. It is ridiculous to say the least. I need you to convince me
that you are telling the truth. We are friends. I know what you are capable of
doing. Do you remember how I used to beg you in school to cook up stories each
time I want to tell lies to my parents? Without breaking a sweat, you told lies
that my parents never bothered to verify whether they were true. You were so
good. You had an answer to any question. Once you open your mouth to talk, we
are done. That was Taiwo Da Silva. You can’t deceive me in secondary school and
still do it again today. I am an adult. Now I can pick holes from your lies
without breaking a sweat, too.”
“If
you need me to swear by the name of the gods, I will do it. My landlady is
chasing me everywhere with her body!”
He
laughed aloud. “That is fine. I do not dispute that,” he stated. “We have two
issues here—the woman and the devil. As things are, if we decide to take her to
court, you won’t win. What evidence do you have that suggests your landlady is
the devil or she is the one that sent the devil to attack you? This is simple
logic. You don’t need to be a professor to know. I am trying not to say things
that will offend you. We are meeting for the first time after many years. It
won’t be nice to start quarreling over little things.”
“Yes,
you are right. But I know what I’m saying. She is a top level witch. She told
me I will be punished for messing up with her.”
He
shook his head. “I have heard stories that appeared to be true but after proper
investigation, they were lies. I will rather be patient and get the facts than
rush into conclusion.” He placed his elbow on the arm of the chair with his
hand to chin. He tried to think. According to him, I was not making any sense.
I don’t know why he doesn’t believe my story.
“Two
foolish men cannot stay in a room,” he continued. “They will bring down the
roof of the house. You should be able to convince me beyond any reasonable
doubt that you are telling the truth. It is not enough for you to accuse her.
You need to have evidence or you could run afoul of the law. It is as simple as
that. Your story does not sound true. You have to be careful how you accuse
people so you do not land yourself in trouble.”
“I
know what I am saying,” I protested. “She is going to kill me if I do not
continue with her. I meant it. Believe me!”
“It
will be easier to believe a bedtime story than agree with you that a demon came
out of the wall and attacked you. Look at the house. There is nothing that
suggested there was a burglar. No investigator will believe you because there
are no cracks on your wall. Nobody broke in. You are trying to frame her up for
something that doesn’t exist. If such a creature had broken in, part of the
house should have collapsed and some of your effects smashed. If you were
right, you should be devastated now. Apart from your rickety legs, you don’t
look like someone that came out of hell. I should have met you clearing the
wreckage. Windows shattered, walls cracked, chairs and table out of
position. Seeing your house in a bad
shape is enough. Then I will fight for you with my last ounce of strength.
“Did
the fellow use the window? Your explanation did not suggest that was what
happened. If you had said he came into the house through the window, you would
have a point. Common criminals are always in a hurry. So often than not, they
will use the window rather than break the walls and get into the house. There
is no vault here packed with money. Your story would have passed the test of
logic if it had gone in this direction. To make the matter worse, you accused
your landlady as the devil who came into your house through the wall. Or did
you say she sent some creature to beat you up?”
“She is a top level witch. She sent someone to
beat me up!”
“I
travel a lot,” he interjected. “The last time I heard this type of story, the
person was later diagnosed with high fever. He was treated immediately and the
nightmares and troubles stopped. He accused his neighbor of stealing a goat.
After further investigation, the authorities discovered the incident only
happened in his dream. In real life, the man had no goat. He could only boast
of a few old shirts and two pairs of faded jean trousers. He was broke and
weak. There was nothing to steal from him. It’s a crazy world that we live in
today. People say all sorts of things and get away with it.
“Those
who were not patient enough to get the full gist had already gone to attack the
neighbor. It took the intervention of the village chief to save the poor soul
from the mob. ”
He
looked straight into my eyes, “Taiwo, I am struggling to believe you. I don’t
know why.” He crossed his arm over his body and threw out a question, “How did
it get to this? What have you done to yourself? There is no smoke without fire.
Tell me what is wrong with you so that we can find a solution before it is too
late.”
“I
have nothing much to say. I lost my peace when I started seeing my landlady.” I
sank into my favorite seat next to him, and explained. “One evening, Methuen,
my landlady, came to my house to ask that I help her check her new phone.
Whether it was a ploy to get me or it was the cruel hands of fate, I do not
know.
“It
was pouring with rain that evening. I was at the dining table. I had my dinner
and was preparing to put the day behind me. Aside from my boxers that hung to
my waist, I had no shirts on. Then I heard a faint knock on the door. I thought
it was my girlfriend, Elena, because she promised to spend the night with me. I
jumped to my feet, rushed to the door, and threw it open. I was shocked to see
Methuen. It was like an ambush. My keen eye sight makes me the perfect hunter.
She was in the rain. The nightgown that flowed to her knees was light and stuck
to her skin. One could see through the outfit. I greeted with a bow.
“She
smiled and stared at me. She placed her left hand on my bare chest and guided
it down my abdomen. Her hand missed the body of my boxer by a few centimeters.
She pushed me into the house. I moved aside as she carried herself into the
house. As I followed her in, I noticed she wore no bra. Her breasts were in
their natural gravity embraced position. I felt a cold shiver down my spine.
This was not a good idea. So I put my feet on the ground. It was tough and she
was a skilled assassin. It was an unholy hour. The cool temperature was all
about life or death. This was my territory and I need to defend it with all I
have got. It was worth fighting for or I will be busy chasing shadows.
“Her
round body filled the room. I could not breathe. Her unpredictable gyration
means she was not afraid to show her assets. It looks crazy but it works. It is
all about the hover. This takes a lot of energy. It is no secret that the whole
world has gone butt wild. Then she stopped in the middle of the room and turned
around to me. I was struggling to think straight. I could see my weakness. Her
body almost popped out from underneath her dress. In as much as I fell in love
with her body, I tried to avoid eye contact. It was the saddest state a man
could ever be, staring at things that may never be his.
“No
matter how hard I try, my warm arms will not grab her. We do not belong to the
same estate. She was at a level that would need so many years of hard work for
me to arrive at. I retired to the seat on the other side.
“She
walked up to me and stood before me. Without saying a word, I managed to glance
up at her. Then she said she knew I was surprised to see her this evening. I
shouldn’t be nervous. She said she only needs my help. If I can help her, she
will be grateful. She revealed she doesn’t know what happened to her phone. She
couldn’t receive calls. She told me her daughter said I was a technician. I can
fix things. She asked if I could fix her phone.
“I
nodded and asked for the phone. She stretched the phone. I took it from her and
inspected it. Before I could blink, she sat next to me. She was a distraction.
Her weight could sink a ship. The room kept spinning. Now was not the right
time to feel weird. I tried to concentrate on the phone.
“She
placed her hands on my thigh. Methuen moved her fingers around my body. My
heart skipped a bit.
“Before
I could snatch a breath from the wings of the evening, she crept into my boxer
and I was within her reach. She squeezed me.
Her phone slipped from me onto the sofa as she kissed me.
“At
that point, I should have shut her down. But my response spoilt everything. I
tore her fragile dress. Her brown delicate body was exposed. I went for the
fountains on her chest. I pulled and squeezed them. I bent to take one in my
mouth. She elicited a loud moan and grabbed my head. She pulled me to herself
so that I could have enough of it in my mouth.
“She
pushed me and I went down with my back on the sofa. She pulled down my boxers.
She wrapped her warm, wet tongue around me.
“My
head was light. I was in heaven. I saw angels and the son of man sat next to
God without lifting a finger.
“Good
sex is noble for the body. Nothing beats having your brain intoxicated with
love hormones.
“I left her in the
sitting room and my legs carried me to the shower. Not long after, Methuen
joined me in the shower. We washed ourselves and returned to the sitting room.
“By
the time I finally checked the phone, it was not an issue that required anyone
to see an engineer. The phone was in flight mode! I returned it back to normal.
She thanked me, and sank a kiss into my neck. That was the beginning of our
affair.
“She
stayed back. We made love until she reduced me to the mere weight of a dry
leaf. She did not leave the house until it was six in the morning of the next
day. We were exhausted and satisfied at the same time. After that day, our
meeting became regular.”
Transfixed,
Yomi laughed. “With your long oratory, I don’t see her as someone that you can
toss aside by the mere wave of the hand. I am trying not to sound negative
because a determined spirit can conquer all frontiers. Otherwise, I would say
you are in for a long night. If you don’t want her, you must give her good
reasons why you cannot continue the relationship. It is not going to be easy
but you have to try,” he advised. “You have bruised her petals. She won’t let
you off the hook without a fight.”
“You
are free to tell me, Yomi,” I coughed a bit. “A man can achieve little in
isolation.”
“Do
you love her?”
“No.
I guess it is the sex thing. There is nothing more. I cannot spend the rest of
my life with her. Our relationship is not going to lead anywhere. I have Elena.
That is enough…”
He
shook his head in dismay. “There lies your problem. Why sleep around with a
woman you do not love? It doesn’t make any sense. It is counterproductive and
dangerous, especially for a promising young man. You cannot afford to make a
mess of your life. I have seen precious lives wasted because they fell into the
wrong hands. I thought that by now you would be married and have kids.”
“I
have plans to settle down and get married. Like I told you, I have a girlfriend
and we are planning to get married soon. Ever since my landlady came into the
picture, things have not gone according to plan. I am struggling to commit
myself to Elena. My landlady is a huge distraction.”
“That
is because you allowed it. She is your landlady does not mean she has your
life. Be a man, Taiwo. You have no excuse for messing around with her.”
“You
are right, Yomi. She was all over me and I could not help it. Only God knows
what came over me. Sometimes I do think it was a spell. That woman is capable
of anything.”
“Why
do you think it is a spell?”
“She
is a Voodooist.”
“How
does that exonerate you from any blame? You are a man. If you had shut her down
the night it all stated, it would have been a different story.”
“I
tried to stop her. Any time I lift a finger, she does something crazy. I have
never met such a seductive woman in my life. Something is not right. It was the
spell that made me have sex with her, no doubt. If not, how could I have slept
with such a terrible creature? I know myself. I don’t fall for anything in a
skirt. I know my boundaries and I respect them. There are things that I cannot
do no matter how hard I am pushed. One of such is having an illicit affair with
someone I do not have an affinity with. She doesn’t fit the profile of the kind
of woman that should go to bed with me. But once I set my eyes on her, I will
almost pee in my pants.”
He
chuckled, “Listen to your story. You are such a funny creature. ‘It was the spell that made me have sex with
her.’ Does that sound nice? You are clever. You should come up with
something reasonable. I would have forgiven you if you only had sex on one
occasion with her. But your story suggests you do it almost every time. That is
not class. It is reckless. You have lost any act of clemency from me. You knew
what you were doing. It was not a spell. It was lust. You saw the danger and
the cracks on the wall. You ignored it because you lacked self-control. That is
crazy. If she is a terrible creature as you claimed, she will not leave you
without a fight. She came to your house with a phone that was in flight mode.
Rather than fix the phone, you had sex with her for several hours. Nothing
stops you from rejecting the job if you suspect something sinister. That you
did not do. People say all sorts of things to appear innocent. Right now, you
are guilty!”
“Yomi,
she manipulated me. I couldn’t have done that under normal circumstances. She
once told me she has a shrine in one of the rooms in her flat. She practices
Voodoo! When I confronted the daughter, she confirmed it. My landlady once
confessed to me that she is an enchantress! So what more proof do you need
before you can believe me that I was manipulated into having sex with her? For
reasons best known to her, I can’t have my peace.”
He
laughed aloud, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. He paused and
said, “Whether you have been banging a witch or not, it was within your powers
to reject her advances. Do not push the narrative that she is a top-level
witch. That’s why you were powerless. It does not make sense. Going forward,
avoid her. Scale down on the things that connect the both of you.”
“Anyway,
I have stopped seeing her. As far as I am concerned, we are no longer together.
But she will not let me be. I do not blame myself for all the mess. My
girlfriend, Elena, too should share in the blame. She pushed me to the wall. If
she had come that night, that witch wouldn't have had her way. Mere seeing
Elena with me would have put her off.”
“Here
you go again. You are blaming your poor girlfriend for your mistake. Do not
bring Elena into this. You should bury your head in shame. She did not ask you
to cheat on her, did she?”
“No,
but she is not always here...”
“That
excuse is still not enough for you to cheat. If you want a woman to stay with
you, show some commitment. Take your relationship to the next level. Today, it
is your problem, deal with it. You should have let Elena know how you feel.
Relationships are all about sacrifices. Two of you need to meet and talk things
over. Or else, your attitude will continue even after you finally get married.
As you know, old habits die hard.”
“Elena
is a busy woman. She works in a media house.”
“It
does not matter. If your girlfriend cannot come here, then you visit her,
Taiwo. You cannot afford to fall into the seductive arms of a strange woman.
She will ruin you.” He cupped his hands on his mouth and coughed.
“Yes,
I have decided to seek God’s intervention and stay away from my landlady. The
woman is not my life.”
“I
am hungry,” he yawned. “Go and prepare something for us.”
“Okay.”
I rose to my feet and moved into a shadow.
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