Written by

Omoruyi Uwuigiaren

Methuen is alluring and seductive. In as much as she believes that love should have trust, she has her own set of rules. She wants it hot, hard and sweaty. She met a handsome man, Taiwo, whose mind is somewhere else. She wanted to keep him for the long haul but he had other plans. He wanted sex, dump her and move on to his next target.

Methuen has led Taiwo into compromising and dangerous situations. She could not watch him bruise her petals repeatedly without fighting back. It is difficult to say whether Taiwo leaving his girlfriend, Elena, for the landlady was a good move. It was like a feeling of fullness and pressure. He never meant to start the war or hurt her. He just wanted to try something new.

Go get your armor and be at the battlefield. They cannot pretend that there was nothing between them. The consequence will be felt by all. It is true that no one has monopoly of love and lust. You can’t promise to never fall in love with a stranger because there are no guarantee that things will stay the same.

Remember to go slow because it is very hard to describe the feeling of being screwed.

My leave was over and my guest had seen horrible nights in my abode. Nights that took hold of our reins and almost sent us to the silent world. Their torments were like the fiery attacks of bloodsuckers and vampires in a desolate city. Grave human destroyers and enemy of the common person sat on the old fence counting their gains after the rampage. Oh! The cruel hands of fate bestowed upon me the responsibility of attending to an ill personality under my nose. I accepted his coming as one of the disasters of life and the common mischief that embraces men of little means.

I was supposed to resume on September 9. However, Yomi’s frail health made me stay back two more weeks. Distracted, I forgot to inform my Manager about the ugly condition that snatched my joy away. Finally, I showed up in the office. The receptionist, a fat and jolly woman, grinning all over her face was going through some files on her table. Beautiful fellow that have received faces from all occupations, and having little means to remember all and the precious moments she had with some of them. I could see she was not getting any younger. However, nature has been fair to her for she was charming like the Lilly of the valley! I pondered a little about the birthmarks on her face. From a distance, one would think they were tribal marks that distinguish her tribe from wanderers. She always wished they were not there.

As we exchanged pleasantries, the bold and diminutive woman told me with a streak of meanness that the manager said I should see him as soon as I resumed. I nodded with a lively interest and turned to go into my office. She stopped me and announced that the manager also said I should not enter the office until I saw him.

I went to the office of Dr. Pepper, the old manager. He wore a new look. He was shaven and his head like an egg! Buttoned up tight in heavy serge, stiff collar and necktie and with nothing better to do than read a newspaper. “Good morning sir,” I greeted and stood.

He threw the newspaper to one side and smiled a little. Wrinkles appeared on his solemn face as he lowered his bifocal glasses and cleared his throat. “Taiwo, good to see you again,” he said and coughed a bit. “So many changes took place while you were away. I hope you will take your part in good faith,” he said, taking a deep breath. “When I did not hear from you, I employed a vibrant young man who has lived up to expectation. Painfully, the business is not booming as expected, I would have considered retaining you. Please, come back in a month’s time to collect what we owe you,” he spoke remorsefully and went for the newspaper.

“I don’t understand you, sir,” my countenance fell as I replied with a trembling voice. The sad news was taller than the pair of legs that carried me.

He sat up and removed his pair of bifocal glasses. “No cause for alarm, Taiwo.” He looked straight into my eyes. “We only sacked you. However, you have my word. Your entitlement will be ready next month.”

“Sir, I did not intentionally stay away. I was attending to my friend who was on the verge of losing his life,” I spoke innocently as tears began to roll down my bewildered face.

“That is fine. It is good to shed tears if a situation demands it. Right now, your tears can do little or nothing, Taiwo. On the other hand, it is no crime to be a Good Samaritan. We all know necessity can change a man’s direction. Nevertheless, it is our duty to take the right decision when the odds are up against us. You should have informed us when such a dilemma lived under your nose. If you had done that, I would not have looked outside. Well, disappointment or failure is not the end of life. Be courageous to confront whatever circumstance befalls you. They could be your deliverance. Of course, yes. There were people who struggled to feed in their little beginning. As soon as they rode on the back of prosperity and the enterprise of poverty was gone, they conveniently fed many mouths!” He shrugged and added, “You are such a nice fellow to work with. If we have any opening in future, we shall get in touch with you!”

I was short of words as he went back to his business. Sobbing gently, I quietly left the old man’s office and had the luxury of walking on the passage alone. After taking five steps or more, it dawned on me that I was few steps away from the reception hall and it would be an embarrassment if that diminutive woman saw me in tears. Then I hurriedly wiped my tears with the back of my hands. The receptionist was attending to someone when I sneaked out and the cruel hands of the outside world received me.

So many things crept into my mind as I waited patiently for a vehicle to convey me to my destination. I thought of giving Yomi the boot as soon as I reached home, for his coming has robbed me of my job. The thought of taking my own life sat like a perpetual infirmity in my troubled mind. Not too long, a vehicle pulled by in the other end of the road. Before I could blink, four masked men stormed out of the car and opened fire on me. I dodged and dashed into an old busy street. People fell here and there. Stray bullets caught an old woman in the head; she cried out a little and lay struggling for life and another fellow fell stone dead!

As everyone on the street fled for dear life, I raced with my legs almost touching the back of my head. People fell stone dead as bullets from the mask men flew in every direction. As they gave chase, I went past two or more bends, looking back at intervals at the horrible creatures that were making strange noises I had never heard. I made the best use of my legs down the last bend that leads to an old graveyard near an abandoned church. Two of the men on my trail formed into a whirlwind and flew into the others ahead. As soon as the devils entered the men, they roared up to the high heavens. The devils became very strong and apprehensive. Running at top speed, I climbed the barbwire fence that separated the abandoned church from the street and tossed myself clear over. As I made for the church, the horrible men took a new form. They transformed into large dogs, snarling, barking, and scaled the fence with ease. Before the wild dogs could get me, I was already in the building.

My breath was almost hitting the roof of my chest when I went near the altar and found a door half-open. I looked in every direction, no enemy in sight and I quietly went in. The room must have served as lodge for the bishop or shepherd of the abandoned church. An old candle and some old Bibles occupied a table covered with dust. Discouraging sights of cobwebs were in every corner. In addition, a bookshelf lay on the extreme, but the cobwebs around it suggested there had not been any human activity there in the recent memories. Why it was in such desolation, I cannot tell. Apart from the little window on the wall, and another that faced the building, purpose of which I think was to help the bishop or whoever in the room see the church, another way out of the room was a steel door in the far end bolted. So, for my own account I was safe. As I looked in every direction to find a weapon that I could use against my adversaries if I eventually ran into them again, my gaze met a piece of note on the floor. I went for it and dusted the piece. There were strange writings on it and I could not read it. When I turned the piece the other way, my curious eyes noticed writing in clear terms that this place is death! However, I squashed the note and disposed of it. I broke off one of the legs of the table in the room to serve as my weapon in case of any eventuality.

Not too long, I went to the little window to see the situation of things in the church. My heart jumped into my mouth when I noticed the dogs were around, looking in every direction for their meal. I secured the door as a gold digger jealously swallows a piece of diamond in a cold night. The window served her purpose. When I stole back to it, my saw one of the wild dogs approaching the room.

Before the devils stepped into the world, which I thought protected me, I pondered over the possibilities of me running through the iron door if evil kissed my soul. There was short barking from the temple; before I could blink, it mixed with the thin air. Comforted that the beasts would never find me, I noticed a huge black dog emerged from the wall in the room. Stench of treachery hung in the air. My heart died within me, for the dog charged and threw itself on me. I did not let myself down for I sent the evil dog the other way with my weapon. As the wood fell to the ground, I fought my way to the back door—my hope of deliverance. I was already on the other side before the beast found its feet.

My legs were true to their responsibilities for they did not disappoint me as I raced through the field to the graveyard, stumbling at intervals and wailing like a devastated man. I could not count the number of times I stumbled as I flee from the mischievous creatures. As the mad dogs chased, I noticed an old man holding a digger entering the only building in the graveyard. I decided to cry for help but it was ignored for the old folk got to the veranda, dropped the digger and went into the house.

My sagging legs, gravestones and demarcations here and there almost gifted me to the devils. However, before they could make a short work of me, I was already at the veranda. I grabbed the digger and hurled it at one of the beasts. The whine of a miserable dog hit the air as the enemy lay struggling for life. Before the other could make any move, I pushed the door open and dashed into the odd world.

I slapped my hand on my chest and gasped when I got into the room and did not find anybody. No old man and the room quiet as if no life had set foot for ages. As the strange barking of one of the dogs flew into the room, I decided to choose my own fate. Find my way before the dogs poured in like night rain. As I desperately threw my gaze to every direction, I noticed strange carvings on the wall at the extreme of the room. When I went close, I was glad it was a door to some place else. Only a push got me to the other side of the bloody mess.

It was a big apartment, calmer than the still water. Furnished with books, papers, wooden boxes, and so forth. There were inscriptions on the walls that proved difficult to decipher as an infant struggles with letters in her first day at school! On the far left were old graven images. Horrible creatures that sent jilters down my spine. I feared I had stepped into a world of misery. As soon as I made two or more cautious steps forward, one of the images fell and shattered. Apart from the two or more tables and the jugs on them, every other thing including a curious little man reading a book was upside down. The old man was bald and had beard that could be hardly noticed.

At intervals, he would grin and let go a yawn that took some time to mix with the air. Initially, I thought he did not see me. So I began to move towards a door in the far left, which I felt providence had provided for my deliverance. I was a stone throw from the exit when the old man cleared his throat. He turned to me, “Fat pig, what are you trying to do?” said the old man. He turned the other way and flew to knock me over. As I fell, groveling at his feet, a withering smile paraded his face. He muttered, “Why are those creatures after you? What is your crime?” He raised an eyebrow that gave birth to a furrow on his forehead. “They always have a reason to hunt, you know. I don’t want to make life difficult for you.”

His hesitation to strike was an indication that there are chances I would live the hole alive. I sat on my elbow, panting and answered, “I guess they are from my landlady. I have not known peace since I moved into her house.”

The old man chuckled. He crossed his arms over his body and threw out a question. “Who is the fellow?” A queer look sat on his face. “Saying you have not known peace since you moved into her house is a weighty allegation, isn’t it?”

“She is Methuen!” I stammered. “The allegation is true.”

“It wouldn’t have been a clever thing to say if you have no evidence. Methuen is a beautiful witch! It’s a pity! I knew that was your problem. Good you did not lie to me. I would have cracked your ribs with a single blow! You were trying to play a fast one on her just like most silly kids do but she is not your regular woman. You cannot easily pull her down. She is tough. If she feels cheated, she will hunt you down like a dog.” He laughed aloud, “You had sex with her and suddenly you wanted the party to stop. Methuen is wild and she doesn’t understand the language of a weak man. She will always come for more!” He glared his eyes at me and growled. He began to breath very fast as if he was about to emit some destructive powers.

“Who are you?” I asked, adjusted my terrified frame on the floor and tried to look at him. “How come you know so much about her?”

“I am Syclos. I know enough of the world,” he replied. He chewed his lower lip and added, “Such questions provoke me. Don’t remind me of my past. It wasn’t palatable. It is better that I do not remember how I ended up here. Sometimes I wonder how far she can go to get back at people who she feels have hurt her. I pity you!”

“Sorry if I have offended. I am scared. Can you let me go? I need to leave here before my pursers arrive. If they find me, they will kill me…”

“SHUT UP!” he interjected angrily, exhaling fire from the mouth, “Methuen is my wife! You have been having sex with my woman! We were never divorced. We were legally married. Things were fine until one evening she found some text messages on my phone.” His countenance fell. He shook his head and walked away from me. He sat on a chair that I guess was his favourite. He paused and tried to think. He lowered his head, leaned forward, and placed his elbow on the rickety table and his hand on his head. He appeared disgruntled. He swallowed hard and continued, “It was obvious that I could not cover my tracks. Methuen found me out.” He raised his head as tears gathered in his eyes. “I forgot to delete the chat with my secretary on my phone. I tried to password the phone to fend her off. That did not work. I often wonder how she manages to unlock my phone and check what she is looking for. That is strange for a woman who is not technician. If I had not found myself in this state, I would never have known who she is.

“She is in the habit of checking my messages when I go to the bathroom. Always suspicious. For this reason, she never allowed the both of us to use the showers at the same time. At first, I did not get the drift but later it dawned on me that she was doing something behind my back. I observed that once I am away in the showers, things don’t remain as I left them if I get back to the room. She was really disgusting.

“To cut the long story short, Methuen concluded that I was messing around with the lady. She accused me of cheating on her, which I denied. I thought there was nothing to worry about. But Methuen has a heart of stone and was always a step ahead of me. She hardly forgives.

“For several days, we argued over the matter. To avoid her questions, I started skipping our usual evening meals together on the dining table. It is either I get home late or I serve myself and eat alone. That did not change anything. She did not believe that I had nothing to do with the poor lady. Finally, she asked that I sack her. For peace to reign in my house, I reluctantly allowed the lady to go. Yet, Methuen was not satisfied. In fact, that was the beginning of my woes.

“One evening, she came home. She ran upstairs and burst into the room. Then I was in the room reading a novel. The force at which she broke into the room, scared the hell out of me. I flung the book away and jumped out of bed to see who must have caused the disturbance. It was my wife. She landed a slap on my face. Her eyes were red with rage. She was shaking visibly out of anger. It was rage. Jealous rage. Methuen is a very jealous woman. She yelled at me that she will get rid of this matter once and for all.

“Before I could blink, she walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. I was perplexed. I lowered my head in despair. Perhaps she must have got wind of the information that I was still seeing the chick. It was true that I sacked her but I did let her go. She was a good worker. It was difficult for me to let such a nice staff leave my establishment. She knew her job. There are very few workers like her. She was exceptional and loyal. So my secretary and I agreed that she should work from home for me.

“As for Methuen, I took her outburst as one of those things that women say when they are very angry. I did not read any meaning into her message until I had a fatal road accident.

“I was returning from a business trip at Ondo state. I took a public bus that could take eighteen passengers at once. I sat on the passenger seat in the front beside the driver. We were comfortable and the atmosphere was peaceful. It was a clear weather. The sun had settled nicely on the bare chest of the sky and everyone could see beyond their nose. The city had burst into life and I could see the future from the horizon. It was a beehive of activities. Men from all civilization would gather here someday to eat and drink to the greatness of the land. Everything started very fast. Our time here was up. We had to move on. I was eager to get home to see my family again after some days outside of Lagos. I missed my daughter so much. She was the consolation in my entire life with Methuen.

“As we left the city behind us, our vehicle began to gather dust. Trails of Ore was fast fading away and we were descending into the road that will terminate in the popular Ojota garage in Lagos. Tall buildings and houses were growing smaller as we moved on and soon, they disappeared completely from sight. We saw huts, pockets of them spread about like pastures clothed with flocks. Then the huts too, either became a tiny fraction of the world around us or suddenly disappeared. Only beautiful bushes, tall trees and the forest world stared at us in the face as we journeyed back to Lagos. I was happy that the place we had left had disappeared from sight. It means that we were advancing to the destination that we had planned to arrive at before the sunset.

“After the driver had covered a huge distance, I noticed he began to dose. I tapped him on the shoulder. He barely looked at me and nodded his head. He pulled his handkerchief from his chest pocket and wiped his face wearily with it. He threw the handkerchief on the dashboard of the vehicle and steadied himself again behind the wheel. Perhaps now trying to fend off the sleep that had crept into him as soon as we left Ondo.

“Not long after, a giant bird flew unto the path of the vehicle and the driver, while trying to avoid the creature, lost control of the wheel. The vehicle wheeled off the road and plunged into a pot hole. The vehicle summersaulted severally and landed awkwardly on the nearby bush few inches away from the road. We were motionless. The once bubbling atmosphere in the bus had gone silence. No one, except my poor soul survived. Human body parts littered the place. The driver had his head snapped from his body, his torso ripped off his body and was by the road. I saw an index finger covered in blood on the dashboard. I guessed it was that of the driver or the passenger behind him.

“My shoulder was broken and I could not feel my legs. I tried to pull myself out of where I was trapped under the wreckage, but there was nothing that I could do. I had no strength. It was saddest moments of my life. I thought about my little family back home in Lagos. How will they cope without me? When I remember my only child, Bisi, I had this rush of energy. I wanted to survive and go back home to be with her. These seemed like an uphill task. I had just one arm moving and the rest of my body buried under the vehicle. I could not do anything.

“As I bled profusely inside the vehicle, I started growing weak. I began to lose hope. Defeat stared at me in the face. I thought about death, her fangs and all the madness in this raging world. It was vengeful. Bitterness wrapped itself in the air. I was going to die after all. No matter how hard I try, I may not survive before help would finally come. We were on the lonely road that stretched from Ondo state to Ijebu Ode. No houses on both sides of the road. Seeing trees in their row, bushes encroaching on the tarred road and no sign of life in the near jungle state sealed my fate. I wish death would come quickly. At intervals, a vehicle will speed past. The drivers or the passengers will barely glance at us and then they will move on.

“I understood their fears. We are in a wicked world. The fear that it could be their turn if they stop to help was real. That area was notorious for armed robbery and kidnapping. Drivers rarely pulled up there for any reason. It was a black spot. From a distance, we must have appeared like some victims of kidnappers or highway robbers who are still not far away from the scene. So it would have been a miracle if any vehicle with no armed security men pulled up to help us. I tried to pick my phone from my pocket so that I could call home. Peradventure, my wife could get me help. I could not reach my pocket because the lower part of my body was stuck somewhere in the vehicle. I felt the pain mounting and my end growing by each passing second.

“As I waited patiently for death to kiss me good bye, the large bird that caused the misfortune landed on the floor some meters away from me. It shook violently and transformed into Methuen, my own wife. She was dressed in a dark flowing garment. Elegant and robust as usual. She walked up to me as I bled on the floor. She paraded a wicked smile on her face, “You did not respect me, your wife, Syclos. You broke my heart. Your secretary confessed to me that you were going out with her. You rented an apartment for her so that you could eat her rotten fruit. I have placed here where she truly belongs. Was I not enough for you?” She grabbed her large breasts and turned around gently. “Look at me, Syclos. What exactly is that thing that the skinny girl gives you that I do not possess? I gave you everything you asked of me on the bed, yet you were not satisfied. Rather, you lied to me that you had nothing to do with her. You pushed me to the wall. It pains me that I had to take you through this. You left me with no choice that was why I decided to punish you for your inadequacies!” After the long explanation, she looked sternly at me.

“I tried to apologize but I had no strength left in me to talk. She tossed her hand in the air, a dark cup appeared in her hand. Then she emptied the content on my body and disclosed, “You are not going to die but you will suffer. You live like a bat. I still love you as my husband. Because of our daughter, I will spare you. I will give you a chance to get your life back. You will recover if you find any man who has slept with me. Sacrifice the fellow on an open field. As the smoke goes up into the high heavens, you will recover and be a human again. For the records, there are no guarantees that we will be together again. I will move on from here. Hopefully, our parts will cross again when you come to see your daughter.

“Nevertheless, I will leave you with a great deal of power so that you can protect yourself and make the most of your new abode. She walked up to me and touched my lips, my body shook vehemently for a moment. Then she mixed with the thin air. As soon as she disappeared, a mighty force pulled me from underneath the vehicle and tossed me into outer space. I disappeared into the wandering clouds. By the time I opened my eyes, I find myself in this creepy kind of place. Now, as providence would have it, you are Methuen’s runaway boyfriend. With you in my arms, I still stand a chance to be a complete human again. Bisi will see her lovely father again…”

He clenched his fist, roared violently beating his chest and waved his tiny fingers at me. I was suspended in midair. The fear of death stood before me. I could feel the heat on my face. “I will do exactly as Methuen had suggested. I will not only sacrifice you, I will also have my revenge. She will pay for making a mess of my life. I will take you to the field, burn and feed your remains to the bald vultures. Your death will have a purpose. Someone’s life will be restored. Yours for mine and it will be over. My pain will disappear from the face of the earth. I will get back on my feet and swim against the tide and time. I have been in this hole for a few years. Nobody wants to be trapped forever.”

Shivering, I said, “It is true that we had sex a couple of times but I have stopped seeing her. I called it quit recently because I have a girlfriend and we are getting married. Please don’t kill me!” As I pleaded, the walls behind us cracked and the fiery dogs broke into the house. They almost barked the apartment down. While I watched from my present darkness, the dogs transformed into creatures of dual appearances. From their waist to their heads, they were the head of a human and the torso of a wolf!

Syclos unfazed by their threat waved his tiny bony fingers at me. I flew out of his sight and landed awkwardly near one of the graven images. Suffering a few bruises and cuts from the fall, my eyes shot back and forth watching for his return or the onslaught of the creatures who had just invaded his house. Then he turned to the creatures and spoke softly. “Ah, Methuen’s puppets. I have long expected you. I see you want to claim your meal under my nose?”

“Of course, of course. Feasting is the beauty of living.” One of the creatures said and turned his head slowly to me as if he was ready to emit some destructive powers.

“I hope you know the rules? “ Syclos asked with a frown.

“Which rules, old man?” said the other creature.

“You are such a terrible interloper. Under normal circumstances, you shouldn’t be here! This is my house!”

One of the creatures chuckled and took some steps forward. “Syclos, we are players in this world. He is our meal and it is not our wish to trouble your soul. You know what we stand for. In a situation like this, it is your duty to hand him over to us. You could see he strayed into your net,” said the creature and his head swelled. “He did not fall from the sky or had fallen prey into your petty trap. He got here because we chased him. That is the truth. Respect our decision so that peace would reign.”

“He is far more useful under my nose than anywhere else. I also need him for my sacrifice so that I can be a complete human again. If I use him, I will walk the street and trade with the whole of mankind. I am missing my only child. The little girl your wayward mistress had for me,” Syclos said and swallowed hard. “She knows. She is aware that I need this situation to get back on my feet. I already have her blessings. I expect you to leave now so that I can begin the process of my recovery as quickly as possible.”

The beast wore a frown. “Not this one! You have to look for another meal, Syclos. He belongs to Methuen. She has ordered us to deal with him because she still needs the poor soul. If she had no need of him, she would have ended his life before now.”

“You are insulting me. Methuen is my wife! Respect my decision!” Syclos yelled at them. As the war of words raged, Syclos threw his hand into the air and made some incantation. Before I could blink, stones fell from the sky and crashed on the intruders. But they were smart enough to duck before they could get hurt. One of the beasts charged and clashed with the old man. They shared blows from one end of the room to another. The devil tasted misfortune as his meal for the day. Syclos waved his hand at him. He landed on the floor and broke his neck. As he groaned in pains, the old wizard cast a spell on him and the beast transformed into a piece of stone and disappeared.

The other creature grabbed hold of one of the graven images and hurled it at Syclos. It knocked him over. Before he could regain his feet, the beast pounced on him and a fresh battle ensued. As they descended on each other, sharing filthy blows in the air, I quietly crawled out of the bloody mess.

Syclos saw me crawling away but was too engaged in the fight to get his hands on me. Then he yelled, “I know your scent, silly boy. I will hunt you down….” His voice echoed as I fled the scene. I ran at top speed out of the graveyard and raced homeward. My legs were touching the back of my head as I ran very fast.